


The Ways We Fall

by Jaela



Series: Types of Love [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Compersion, Confession, M/M, Polyamory, compersion kink?? if that's a thing??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8182208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaela/pseuds/Jaela
Summary: For Haikyuu OT3 Week 2016:How Suga explained the way he experiences love to one boyfriend, and how he got together with the other two boyfriends.This is Suga's big poly coming out.This is also an AsaSugaNoya origin story.Prequel to "Love is a Renewable Resource" but can be read separately.





	1. Summer, Year 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is my contribution to OT3 week. The focus is on the Golden OT3 of my heart, AsaSugaNoya, but I couldn't resist also including Daichi as an understanding partner to Poly Suga (plus, the story wouldn't have felt complete without it).
> 
> As the description says, this is a prequel to the ongoing "Love is a Renewable Resource," which I put on hold to focus on the Sports Anime Shipping Olympics this summer. Summer is over, and LIARR updates are coming. If you've been waiting, I'm sorry it's taken so long, and thank you for sticking with me! Please accept this story as an apology.
> 
> You will notice that now LIARR and this story are now a series called "Types of Love." I have a definite ending in mind for LIARR, but I want to keep the possibility open to explore polyamory themes in this same universe in the future! (A sidenote: all of the chapter titles for LIARR are "types of love"—descriptive words that you could place "love" after and get a summary of the relationship involved.)
> 
> The theme of the week is threes, so have a story in three parts! The middle one is technically just an extension of the first, but it's just an extra scene that reveals a small thing about Daichi. It gets a little sexually suggestive, so if that's not your jam, go ahead and skip right over Chapter 2.
> 
> Enjoy!

Suga sits on the floor of Daichi’s bedroom, facing him with his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. Daichi has known since this morning that Suga has “something important” to tell him. Initially, Suga had planned for that to be the only preamble to what he’s about to say. But he can’t do it—Suga is just an extended preamble sort of person by nature. He’s going to at least limit himself, though. For the sake of Daichi’s patience and sanity.

“So, not to be dramatic, but if I say this, you probably won’t see me the same way anymore. I don’t know if it’ll be in a bad way, but I won’t hold it against you if it is. Hearing this might even make you end up hating me, so I’ll be relieved as long as it’s not that.”

This much is already troubling Daichi; Suga can see it on his face. Daichi doesn’t like it when Suga doubts himself. At the beginning of their relationship, he’d answer it immediately with an outpouring of contradictions. Don’t say that, don’t think those things, it isn’t true. By now, though, Daichi knows that a self-doubting Suga doesn’t want contradictions, he just wants company. It’s still not the most comfortable thing for Daichi, but he holds back his first impulse. He breathes, and looks Suga in the eye.

“It’s okay, Suga. I’m here.”

Suga smiles, spelling gratitude across the space between them. Then his face falls solemn. He’s almost reached his self-imposed limit on preamble, so there’s nothing to do but continue.

“I love you.”

“Okay.” Daichi chuckles nervously.

“I love you so much it’d probably make most people cringe. I think about you all the time. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I want to text you, but it’d be mean to wake you up so I just read through our old conversations, and… and my heart gets beating so fast I can’t get back to sleep.”

“So far none of this is making me hate you.” Daichi is still smiling, but he’s sweating too. Suga wishes he could set him at ease, but he’s pretty sure there is no stress-free way to do this.

“I’m not breaking up with you,” Suga blurts out, in case that helps.

“Good.” Daichi laughs like he hadn’t even considered it, but Suga can see some of the tension drain out of him.

“I love you, Daichi. But—no, it’s not even but, it’s _and._ I love you, _and…_ also, sometimes I think about other people.” That much is out of his mouth. He holds his breath.

“Other people,” Daichi repeats. “Like… girls?”

Suga fidgets. It’s hard to have Daichi guessing, because Suga is pretty sure he’d never guess the truth. It’s probably too far outside Daichi’s realm of what’s even possible, and that makes Suga feel the depth of the gap he’s trying to pull himself across. “It isn’t about you being a guy. It’s not anything about you, actually. This is something about me.”

Daichi nods.

“So…” Suga rehearsed several ways to explain this whole thing in his head, but it’s hard to remember which words go where. He squares up his shoulders and pushes forward the best he can. “I like other people, sometimes. And it doesn’t mean I love you any less. It doesn’t mean anything about you. It’s just… the way I am.”

“Suga…” Daichi rubs at the back of his head. “What you’re describing, isn’t everyone like that? Being with someone doesn’t make people stop noticing if someone else is attractive. Or, maybe it does for some people, but I don’t think it’s bad if it doesn’t.”

Suga shakes his head. “What I’m talking about is more than that. It doesn’t stop at just attraction.”

Daichi looks confused, but his posture is relaxed and his breathing is even. “You might need to explain. I mean, you’re not cheating on me.”

Suga takes comfort in how certain Daichi sounds about that. “No, I would never. And I don’t ever want to do anything that would make you feel like that. Or even have the tiniest worry that I might.”

“Right.” Daichi searches out Suga’s eyes, and smiles.

Suga smiles back. He nods more to himself than to Daichi. To tell himself to keep going. “So, I… like more than one person, sometimes. It’s been that way as long as I can remember. But I’m with you one hundred percent. For as long as you love me, I’m with you, and… if you say that you don’t ever want me to be with anyone else, I’ll do that. If that’s what you want, it’s okay and I won’t ever need anything else. So it’s not like you’d be depriving me, or something.”

Suga can practically feel that Daichi’s head is spinning, trying to keep up. But he wipes his sweaty palms on his shorts and waits.

“If that’s what I want,” Daichi says. “And you said you’re not breaking up with me. So… what’s the other option?”

“The other option—“ Suga takes a deep breath—“is that I’d date you, _and_ sometimes other people too. And of course, you’d be free to do the same.”

“Why would I do that?” Daichi barks a startled laugh. “I love you, Suga.”

Suga’s heart sinks. “You think I’m horrible.”

“What? I just…” Daichi blinks. “I just said I love you. What part of that sounded like I think you’re horrible?”

“Maybe the part where you made it sound like wanting to see other people and loving someone are mutually exclusive.”

Daichi’s face is blank. He’s still not getting it.

“God, Daichi, you’re dense sometimes! I love you, too! And I’m still like this.”

“I don’t want to date other people. I can’t help it.”

“Okay,” Suga says, but his voice sounds frenzied and stricken even to his own ears. “That’s fine, obviously, but…!”

“You’re panicking,” Daichi says, like he’s just realizing it himself. “Wait, okay… what you’re saying is that you can’t help it either, right? The way that you feel.”

Suga tries to take deep breaths, but his heart is racing so much that he can’t count out individual beats and there’s not much he can do about that. “Yeah.”

“Yeah? Got it.” Daichi sits up a little straighter. “Do you need water or something?”

Suga shakes his head. “Just to know that you don’t hate me now.”

“I don’t hate you.” Daichi puts a hand on Suga’s knee, and Suga clutches it tight. “I really don’t, I promise. I just… I’m sorry, I need some time to think about this.”

“Of course,” Suga says.

“Can I…” Daichi gulps. “Am I allowed to ask who it is?”

“Always,” Suga says. He’s rehearsed this part, too, and that helps distract him from his fear. Daichi looks lost, like he has no idea if he’s doing the right thing, but he is. He does. On a subconscious, instinctual level, at least, he knows to keep Suga talking. “I don’t ever want this to create secrets between us. I want to give you a name, at least, every time. And beyond that, as much or as little as you want to know.”

“Got it.” Daichi’s voice is a touch faint, whether from confusion over this whole situation or concern for Suga’s still-shallow breathing, he can’t tell. It could be both. “Let’s start with the name.”

“Right now, the answer is no one.”

Daichi leans back a little, and Suga’s gaze flickers between his eyes. “Sorry, what?”

“Right now, there’s no one besides you.”

Daichi’s breath catches. “Wait, so. Why are you telling me this now?”

“I wanted to tell you before there was anyone,” Suga says. “I don’t want to put you on the spot and make you feel like the clock is ticking on your answer or something. I’m not… asking for permission to do anything right now, I just wanted to tell you. So that you know, because…” Suga falters, and waves the hand not holding Daichi’s in the air in a gesture he’s not sure really means anything. “Because I want you to know everything about me, and either accept it or not.”

“Yeah.” Suga isn’t sure if Daichi knows what he’s responding to. Because Suga isn’t even sure if he knows what he just said. “Did I already ask if you needed water?”

“Yes. I mean, yes you asked. No, that’s okay.”

“Okay.” Daichi readjusts his legs. “It’s just, the timing… it felt like you had some reason it had to be now.”

“Well, sort of.” Suga can feel how lopsided his smile is, and hopes he doesn’t look ridiculous. “I just wanted it to be as soon as possible. Because… because I’m in deeper every day, and there’s this thing about me that… if it’s a deal-breaker, I want to know that sooner rather than later.”

“Suga, I…” Daichi laughs. Not at Suga, but in the light, restrained way that means he’s about to be self-deprecating. "Nothing about you is a deal-breaker. I don’t know how to answer you yet, but it’s definitely not gonna be ‘let’s break up.’ I’m too far gone for that.”

“Good,” Suga says, “because I waited too long. I’m too far gone, too. If you’d left me over this, it might’ve killed me.”

And it’s true; he totally missed the divide where Daichi went from being Suga’s cute new boyfriend to being someone Suga can’t imagine living his life without. That moment is probably miles in the dust by now.

“Don’t die,” Daichi says. “Hold on, I’m gonna get you some water.”

Suga doesn’t even bother to remind Daichi that he already turned that down twice. He just lets Daichi do it, and dutifully drains the whole glass when he returns.

“Can I be kind of annoying?” Suga asks.

Daichi raises an eyebrow. And when he doesn’t say no, Suga climbs into his lap and kisses him.

“Uh… is there something else, because this isn’t what I’d call annoying.”

Suga presses their foreheads together, and his heartbeat and breathing are just about back to normal. “I’m not gonna rush your answer. In fact, I think it’s best if you think it over for a while. But I just… need to know that we’re okay right now. I want to feel it.”

Daichi settles his hands low on Suga’s waist, and kisses him again. He’s firm and slow, intention settling over Suga in layers with every steady breath, until he’s blanketed in it too heavily for his anxieties to have a voice anymore.

“Do you feel it?” Daichi asks.

Suga nods, even though Daichi’s eyes are closed. “Thank you.”

 

\--

 

They talk about it twice more that week. The first time, Daichi says he can’t help feeling like he’s inadequate in some way. He knows it’s irrational, but a part of him wonders if Suga would only look at him if he did something different, if he was better in some way.

“It’s not like that,” Suga is quick to reassure him. “I was like this before I even met you. And like I said, I could only be with you and no one else for the rest of my life and I’d be perfectly happy.”

“But if you had someone else, would you be even more perfectly happier?”

Suga elbows him in the ribs. “What the hell is that sentence?”

Daichi laughs, even though he’s wincing. He’s taken harder hits from Suga before. “Sorry, I don’t wanna sound like I’m doubting you.”

“Nah, I’m glad you told me.” Suga links their pinkies, just for a moment. “Whatever you’re thinking about, I want us to be honest with each other.”

“Right, makes sense. You’re pretty mature about this stuff, Suga.”

Just to prove him wrong, Suga pouts. “But you keep making me say all of this embarrassing stuff about how much I like you, Daichi! So if you don’t get it, I’m going to get mad and think you’re just fishing for compliments.”

Daichi rolls his eyes, because Suga is ridiculous. And so is Daichi, because he’s smitten as ever.

 

\--

 

The second time, Daichi asks if Suga has feelings for Asahi.

“Asahi?” Suga presses a finger to his lips and gives that much more serious consideration than Daichi is comfortable with. “Well, like I said, there’s no one in particular I’m interested in. Asahi’s cute, and I’d like to get to know him better, but it’s not like I have any particular intentions.”

“You think he’s _cute,_ ” Daichi deadpans. “ _Azumane Asahi_ is _cute?_ ”

“Sure, a little,” Suga says. “What, you don’t think so?”

Daichi _clearly_ does not think so.

“Okay, stop looking at me like that. I just _said_ I don’t have feelings for him, so we’re done here.”

“No, this isn’t even about that anymore,” Daichi says, chasing after Suga as he tries to leave. Which is all too easy, because Daichi has longer legs. “Now I just want to know what about that guy is _cute._ ”

“If you insult my taste, you’re only badmouthing yourself!” Suga walks faster, but Daichi doesn’t even have to try to overtake him.

“Does that mean I’m cute? Who’s cuter, me or the guy who looks like he works part-time doing crime reenactments?”

“Get lost, Daichi.”

“Aw, you don’t mean that. After all, I’m at least as cute as that guy who jumps when he sees his own shadow.”

Suga groans, and breaks out into a run. He only escapes because Daichi knocks a bulletin board off the wall rounding a corner, and Suga makes a break for it while a teacher steps out of a classroom to reprimand him.

He’s still laughing several minutes later when Daichi finds him in the food line.

 

\--

 

The following Monday, Daichi pulls Suga aside before morning practice, and gives him the okay to see other people.

“You’re sure?” Suga asks.

“Yeah.” Daichi puts his hand on Suga’s shoulder. “I thought about it a lot, and it doesn’t bother me as long as we still have us.”

“Daichi,” Suga says, pronouncing the word as the beloved thing that it is.

“Well, just saying it doesn’t bother me isn’t right. More than that, I like that you’re a kind person. You see the good in everyone. Or at least everyone who’s worth it.” He flashes a sly smile, and Suga winks in return. “If there are others you can make as happy as you make me, you should do that. I think I’d like that, too.”

“You’re cheesy,” Suga says, and kisses Daichi’s cheek. “Thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“Yeah, well.” Daichi scratches his head instead of finishing that sentence.

“We can do this on whatever terms you want,” Suga says. “I can let you know as soon as I’m even thinking about asking someone out.”

“I don’t know,” Daichi says. “That feels too much like you’re asking me for permission or something, and I don’t need that. I guess I’d just… want to hear about it after? Just the same way we always talk about how our days went. Is that okay?”

“Of course.” Suga pulls him in for a tight hug, and Daichi nuzzles against his hair.

“Okay. Let’s not be late to practice.”

And it doesn’t even hit Suga until he’s taking his place in front of the net that it’s been settled, just like that.


	2. Winter, Year 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is rated T, but this chapter has some sexually suggestive themes. If that sounds fun to you, or you wanna kinkshame Daichi, you're in the right place! If not, feel free to go ahead to the next chapter. Nothing crucial to the plot happens here.

 “I went on a date yesterday,” Suga says casually one afternoon, and it should be his first hint of what’s to come that Daichi narrowly avoids walking headlong into a streetlamp just before he answers.

“Yeah?” Daichi’s voice is breathless, which should be the second clue, but Suga is tired and a little foggy.

“Mmhmm.” He’s walking close enough to Daichi that their arms brush. Comfortable, familiar. “You want to hear about it, right?”

“Uh huh.”

But he’s hardly past the part about meeting up and what they were both wearing before he gets interrupted.

“Suga,” Daichi says suddenly, “Can we wait until we get to your place?

“Uhmm?” Suga blinks. “Sure.”

“Your mother is out, right?”

“She’s… at work until seven, like always,” Suga says slowly. “When’s the last time you called Mama ‘your mother’ anyway?”

“Oh,” is all Daichi says.

“Is this bothering you?” The chill of doubt starts to seep into Suga’s voice. This is the first date he’s been on with someone else since Daichi gave him the okay. Maybe now that it’s a reality, Daichi is having second thoughts.

“What? No. Oh god, Suga, it’s not that so don’t worry. It doesn’t bother me.”

“It’s clearly bothering you,” Suga counters.

“I promise it’s not what you think, but I can’t explain here so… please hang in there for two more blocks and I swear I’ll explain everything.”

 

Suga opens the door to the apartment for them, but it’s Daichi who closes it, pushing one flat palm against it while he faces Suga and stares him straight in the eye.

There’s an awkward, quiet moment during which Suga slips his shoes off, prompting Daichi to snap out of whatever’s come over him and fumble to do the same. And then they’re still standing by the door, and all of a sudden Daichi has a hold of Suga’s collar and is tugging him close with both hands.

Suga thinks Daichi’s going to kiss him, but he doesn’t. He just shares Suga’s air, and as soon as Suga thinks to ask if he’s angry, he swallows the words because he knows he isn’t.

“Did you kiss him?” Daichi asks.

“No,” Suga says.

“Why?”

Suga’s nervous laugh puffs against Daichi’s face. “ _Why?_ ”

“Uh…” Daichi shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “You could have kissed him.”

“I know,” Suga says, and shrugs. He’s not sure why this is the part he’s explaining himself over. “It was a first date. And there wasn’t a moment that felt right.”

“Okay,” Daichi says.

The longer he holds Suga there, quiet and close, the more uneasy Suga feels. “Daichi, you said you’d explain everything.”

“Oh,” Daichi says. “Right.”

Suga kisses him, intending to just give him a quick peck for encouragement, but as soon as their lips meet Daichi backs him against the wall and then nothing at all is quick. It’s tender and just on the edge of too warm, and Suga is panting by the time he has the clarity of mind to tug Daichi over to the couch and push him down to sprawl with his back against the armrest. Suga climbs on top of him, crossing his arms over Daichi’s chest.

“Okay, good everything else, but _bad explanation._ I don’t get it.”

Daichi covers his reddening face with his hands, but spreads his fingers enough to peek warily at Suga. “Okay—shit. Uh.”

Suga does his best to put on a Good Listener face instead of the judgmental one that’s attempting to come through.

“I’ve been having these dreams lately.”

Suga can’t help that one of his eyebrows raises of its own accord. He’s still listening, even if this isn’t getting any clearer.

“ _Dreams,_ Suga. About you… with other people. Doing things.”

Daichi clears his throat loudly, which is probably a good move on his part because it cuts Suga off before he can blurt the words _oh my god_ on impulse.

“Please,” Daichi says. He doesn’t know how to finish that sentence, but Suga can understand from the tone that it’s a plea for mercy.

“It’s… no, it’s fine.” Suga tries not to have an incredulous outburst. He really restrains himself, and should be congratulated for it, really. “It’s… I mean, what is that? Voyeurism?”

“Maybe, I don’t know!” Daichi lowers his hands, but averts his gaze. “Wait, no, I don’t think so. It’s not like I want ask to watch…”

Suga restrains himself again, only because Daichi audibly gulps and Suga kind of feels sorry for him.

“I just,” Daichi soldiers on. “When I asked you to tell me about your dates afterwards, I think I didn’t know how much I really wanted that.”

Suga hooks a finger under Daichi’s chin, and tries to get him to make eye contact. When he can’t seem to manage it, Suga kisses him again.

“Oh my god,” Suga says finally.

“Please,” Daichi begs again.

“Sorry.” Suga giggles and nuzzles Daichi’s cheek. He’s burning up, which makes Suga giggle more. He bites his lip, because he realizes he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “Nothing interesting really happened yesterday. But if you want, I can tell you about something else? Dates from before we got together.”

Daichi makes a sound of protest, so Suga silences him with another kiss.

“I’m not making fun of you, I mean it. Do you wanna hear?”

Daichi finally meets Suga’s eyes, sharp and hazy all at once. He licks his lips. “Yes.”


	3. Autumn, Year 2 (and onward)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AsaSugaNoya origin story GO!
> 
> I'm finally mentioning one of Suga's university teammates by name: Shiroishi, formerly of Wakunan. One of these days I'll make it more clear that his university team truly does exist. Baby steps.

Nishinoya Yuu is—he's pretty sure—probably, almost definitely in love.

He's examined it from a bunch of different angles now, and he feels like that's the right name for the particular way in which Asahi is an essential, intrinsic part of his life. He can't imagine life without Asahi. Or, he can, but the second it crosses his mind his chest fills up with hurt and anger that wants to swallow and drown him, so he drags it back down and works on his receives until he's sure that even the biggest idiot alive couldn't deny his irresistibility. Yeah, he's gonna steal Asahi's heart and never ever give it back, and he’s going to do it by being fast and strong and amazing, and it's gonna be great.

There's one tiny little hiccup, however. It's not the thing where they're both guys (whatever, love is free) and it's not the thing where Nishinoya has no romantic experience to speak of (even _more_ whatever, he'll figure it out).

It's the thing where Nishinoya is—he's pretty sure—not the only one who's in love with Asahi right now.

Because when Nishinoya gets caught staring, he sees another head turn at the exact same moment that he averts his gaze. That _I-totally-wasn’t-looking_ evasion move looks the same on anybody. Even wily, pretty-faced second year setters.

Nishinoya tries to catch Suga checking Asahi out again, and he ends up with more than just that—he sees Suga smack Asahi on the back and walk away, only to look back with a delicate, fond look in his eyes. He sees Suga snap to attention when somebody greets Asahi by name on his way into the gym. He sees Suga drift towards Asahi as if pulled into his orbit by some unseen force. Basically, he sees _pining._ Which is so not Suga’s style.

It _is_ Suga’s style to keep good track of his teammates. The last two of five times that Nishinoya observes evidence of Suga’s crush, Suga notices. From across the gym, the answer is an expression of cautious curiosity.

So Suga probably knows it’s coming, but he still tenses up when Nishinoya corners him by the lockers.

Nishinoya stands with his feet parallel to his shoulders, arms crossed, face set to show that he means business.

“Um,” Suga tries.

Nishinoya just shakes his head. “You have feelings for Asahi-san,” he accuses. No lead-up, just that.

“Ah.” Suga grabs his bag and then backs against his locker, closing it with his shoulder blade. “Wow, okay.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just…” Suga adjusts the strap on his bag, buying time. “You’re very direct. What is this about, Nishinoya?”

It’s about Asahi, obviously. But actually, aside from that, Nishinoya hadn’t decided yet where he was going with this.

“Um,” it’s his turn to say. “Well, you _do!_ I’m crazy about him, so it’s easy to tell when someone else is, too.”

Suga clears his throat. “Look, he’s probably going to be in here soon. Take a walk with me? I’ll buy you your favorite.”

 

\--

 

Nishinoya stops to tie his shoe, holding the popsicle in his mouth. It’s going to stain his lips, Suga finds himself thinking. Crouched down with sugary goop melting around his mouth, Nishinoya looks like such a kid.

He pushes back to his feet and pulls the treat out of his mouth with a _pop._ “So how come you haven’t done anything?”

Right. Suga is the one who’s a kid, actually. He sighs. “I can’t.”

“Like hell!” Nishinoya is glaring. “It’s not like you’re shy or something. Did you just now decide you like him, or what? Because I should probably give you first dibs as my senpai, but I’ve liked him all along. So maybe I’m first in line.”

“I don’t know about ‘dibs’ or places in line, but… it’s been a while now for me, too.”

Nishinoya looks even less impressed than before. His eyebrows slant down harshly, and he’s holding his jaw taut. “Then what’s your problem?”

“What do you think would happen if I confessed to Asahi right now?”

“Who the hell knows.”

“Exactly.”

“No, nuh uh, that’s my line,” Nishinoya says. “You don’t _know_ because you haven’t tried it yet.”

Suga rubs at his arm. Nishinoya notices there’s a bug bite there, and Suga’s been fussing at it. When he starts walking again, Nishinoya is right beside him. “I just don’t see that going well.”

“You don’t see it going at all because you’re not _doing_ anything.” Nishinoya’s exasperation is thick. “You’re not like that on the court, Suga-san. You’d suck if you were."

Suga hums, and considers that. Sure, he puts the ball up in the air without knowing what the outcome will be all the time. But this isn’t quite the same. “I can’t recover the point later if I get rejected. This is one of those one-chance-only things.”

“It’s not!” Nishinoya huffs. “And if it was—fine, maybe you strike out, and then you’re not dating Asahi-san. That’s just the same as right now!”

Suga has to laugh. “Okay, you got me. That’s true.”

“Right? So…”

Suga looks sideways at Nishinoya. He isn’t sure how to decode the hopeful sparkle in his eyes.

“Why are you trying to help me, if we’re love rivals?”

Nishinoya shoves his hands in his pockets. He probably picked that up from Tanaka. He looks like a punk.

But it’s cute.

“It feels unfair if I just barge ahead on my own. Like it’d be cheating or something.” Nishinoya’s lips work against each other, trying to hold back some kind of expression Suga can’t really guess at. “I want to win Asahi-san’s heart honorably.”

Suga restrains himself with all of his power, trying not to laugh. Nishinoya is blushing, and Suga couldn’t bear to make him feel like he’s being made fun of right now. “Okay, I get it. So you need me to move, too, before you can feel like you’re being fair to him.”

“Yeah.” Nishinoya visibly relaxes. Suga gets it. “Fair to _both_ of you.”

“Ahh, you’re already being too cool and beating me,” Suga groans, playing up a mock-pout. “But shouldn’t we talk about this? The different outcomes and how we’d deal with them.”

“Guess so…” Nishinoya puffs his chest out when he’s being serious. It’s endearing, Suga thinks. “’Cause unless we both get dumped right away, one of us wins and the other strikes out. Yeah?”

Suga nods.

“Guess that’s pretty rough. But… I won’t hold it against you if you beat me fair and square.”

“I wouldn’t either,” Suga decides. “But, well… I’d feel bad, taking away something you wanted, Nishinoya.”

“Asahi-san isn’t a thing that can be taken away,” Nishinoya declares, head held high. “And I don’t want to be pitied, Suga-san!”

“I know, Suga says, a touch sheepish now. “I know, that came out wrong. But it feels like… dating Asahi where you could see, being happy together, I’d feel like I was rubbing it in your face. I don’t think I could relax like that.”

“Is it still coming out wrong? Because that sounds like pity to me.”

Suga laughs nervously. “Maybe I can’t explain it well, but… I want to see you happy, Nishinoya. And if you’re not, and it’s because of me?” Suga sticks out his tongue like he’s just tasted something really gross. “I don’t want that.”

Nishinoya’s expression smooths out. Suga thinks he sees the hint of a smile forming, but then Nishinoya turns his face away and kicks a rock. “Okay. But what should we do then? I’m not gonna be happy if you give up for my sake, either.”

“Ah, then that’s no good.” They walk in silence for a minute or two, breathing falling into sync. If it were up to Suga, he’d prefer to just stay in that kind of peace. It’s hard to break the silence with what’s still troubling him.

“I have a few things to say. I’m not sure you’re gonna want to hear them.”

Nishinoya is watching him with the sharp intensity of a bird of prey. It doesn’t exactly help put Suga at ease.

“In a way, it feels like you’ve already won. You’re way too cool for me to keep up, Nishinoya, and you’re so serious about it. If we’re taking turns, it feels like you should go first, at least.”

“You’re right. I _don’t_ want to hear that.” Nishinoya’s voice is cutting. “What, are you saying you’re not _serious_ about Asahi-san?”

“It’s… not that, exactly,” Suga says. He licks his chapped lips and tries to sort out how to put words to something he never planned to tell Nishinoya. “I’m different from you. It’s a little embarrassing, but I’m one of those people who falls in love really easily.”

“So, what, you’re saying it’d be fine because you’d just get over it and find someone else?”

“No.” It would be nice, maybe, if Suga could just let him believe that. But Suga doesn’t want Nishinoya to look down on him, and there’s no way he’d believe it anyway. Not with the way tears prickle at Suga’s eyes at the very thought of just _getting over it._ “I couldn’t. But… okay, here’s the other thing I wanted to tell you. Asahi isn’t even the only person I have feelings for right now.”

Nishinoya’s anger doesn’t go away, but it softens a little. He can hear how tight Suga’s throat is. He falls into step a little closer. “Daichi-san? Augh, sorry.” He groans. “That’s not the right question to ask right now.”

“It’s okay.” The smile Suga offers is a little weak, but there is gratitude in it, too. “Daichi… for one.”

Nishinoya nods. It takes him a moment to process the new information, but he’s quick at just about everything. He doesn’t let Suga wait with his own worries for long. “I don’t think any of that makes me more serious than you are. And I’m not gonna go first. We should both go talk to him together.”

Suga laughs. “I’d like that! But would that be too much for Asahi? He might pass out if we confront him and make him choose.”

“He can man up and take it!” Nishinoya looks properly fired up, the way he does before a game. But he catches something in Suga’s eyes that makes him do a double-take.

Suga is having trouble meeting his gaze. But he does, after a moment, and then Nishinoya is certain.

“Suga-san, can I ask you something?”

Suga looks like he might crack a joke, but he just nods.

“You like me.”

This time, Suga’s grin breaks through full-force. “That’s not a question.”

“Oh my god!” Nishinoya’s stride is cut off by a half-leap, half-skip. His eyes go wide. “But you _do,_ you like me!” He can’t keep his eyes off of Suga’s pinkening cheeks, the way he ducks his head shyly. “Why the hell are you trying to get me to confess and risk missing out on two people you like at once?!”

“Hahh.” Suga can’t stop smiling, even though he’s nervous as hell. “I told you I want you to be happy, didn’t I?”

“What’s that,” Nishinoya laughs, and now he’s blushing too. “I didn’t know you meant it like some kind of cheesy romantic movie— _your happiness is my happiness._ ”

Suga grimaces at the way Nishinoya drops his voice to mimic a melodramatic film actor. He elbows Nishinoya, making him stumble, but Nishinoya regains his balance and his place at Suga’s side immediately.

“Oh my god,” Nishinoya says again. “Sorry, I’m not trying to make fun of you, I’m just shocked.”

“Sorry,” Suga says.

“For what? Nah—I mean, I’m happy. But this kinda changes things, huh?”

“Yeah,” Suga agrees, but his voice is tentative and quiet. He’s not sure how to take _I’m happy,_ exactly, or how to ask.

“Whoa… so would we tell him that part when we go? And if he says he likes _you…_ no, wait.” Nishinoya tugs a hand through his unruly hair and groans. “Ughh, this is complicated! What do I do!”

The last part sounds rhetorical, though, so Suga doesn’t answer it. Instead he says, “So, you still want to go talk to him like that? Both of us together?”

“Well, yeah.” Nishinoya is trying to walk too fast for his own legs. He keeps scuffing the toes of his shoes against the pavement and taking his steps in uneven little jumps to keep from falling on his face. “Can I—should we—wow. Is it okay if we hold hands?”

Suga gives him a cautious smile. “Why?”

“’Cause I want to. I’ve never done it before.” Nishinoya’s grin is a little too open and honest.

“I think we’d better not, or I might think you’re trying to give me an answer.”

“Well, maybe I am. Ahh, I don’t know!” Nishinoya is practically jumping up and down even as he walks.

Suga takes a deep breath. “Well… okay, what if. I mean, this is only a suggestion.”

“Yeah?” Nishinoya cranes his neck to read Suga’s face, so he’s not looking where he’s going at all anymore. Suga sincerely hopes his reflexes will save him from getting a mouthful of asphalt.

“I don’t know how to explain it to Asahi, but what if… we both dated him. And also each other.”

Nishinoya hoots at the sky. “Whoa, that’s good! Can we do that?”

“I honestly don’t know.” Suga shrugs. “But if everyone agrees to it, I don’t see a reason we couldn’t try.”

“Suga-saaaaan!” He grabs Suga’s hand and swings their arms forward. “Can we do it tomorrow?”

Suga sighs, weary to even think of it. “Do you fear nothing?”

“Haha, nope!” Nishinoya’s expression is one of triumph. He already knows he’s won.

“After school, okay? If you’re giving me such a tight deadline, I have to prepare for it.”

“After school,” Nishinoya confirms. He looks satisfied. Suga opens his mouth to say something, but Nishinoya comes to a sudden realization and beats him to the next word. “Oh! But what about Daichi-san?” His nose wrinkles up. “I don’t think I can date Daichi-san.”

“I’ll talk to Daichi tomorrow morning.” Suga’s voice is breathless with laughter. “I don’t think he wants to date you either, Nishinoya, so I wouldn’t worry about that.”

The laughter is contagious, and Nishinoya’s smile is toothy and bright.

“Okay, but—just to make sure, you _are_ okay with dating me?”

“Huh?” Nishinoya blinks. “Oh, yeah. That’s kind of what I meant by…” He squeezes Suga’s hand where it’s still joined with his own.

“Ah, good. I thought so.” Suga squeezes back. “I’m glad.”

 

\--

 

“So, you know that time you asked me if I liked Asahi?”

Daichi turns around very, very slowly, and gives Suga the most pointedly blank stare he’s ever seen.

Suga puts his hands on his hips and stares Daichi down in return.

After a long moment, Daichi sighs. “Whatever happened, I’m not really interested in hearing about it this time.”

“Nothing’s happened,” Suga says.

Daichi parts his lips just slightly. The most miniscule movement, from which Suga can clearly read the thought _are you fucking with me right now._

“Yet,” Suga adds.

“I don’t want to know.”

“Daichi, don’t be childish.”

“I’m not,” Daichi snaps, childishly. “If nothing happened, why are you telling me anyway? We have an agreement about this.”

“I know, I know. To be more specific, nothing’s happened _with Asahi._ I wanted to tell you that I’m dating Nishinoya.”

Daichi looks weary. He has the faraway look of someone knees-deep in a sentence to hard labor. “Nishinoya,” he says faintly.

“Right. And we’re asking Asahi out today, the two of us.”

Hard Labor Daichi tilts his head to the side, apparently holding just enough life in his heart to still feel an inkling of curiosity.

“I’m not asking for permission or anything, I just thought I’d catch you up to speed since it’s an unusual situation.”

Daichi stares at the ceiling. “You’re really happy about this, huh? You just wanted to be able to tell someone.”

“Yup,” Suga chirps.

Daichi sighs and musses Suga’s hair. “Go get ‘em, Suga. Do your thing.”

“Thing? What’s my thing?”

“That thing where you make everyone fall in love with you,” Daichi says, like it’s obvious.

Suga pays for his lunch.

 

\--

 

Nishinoya stops by his shoe locker before practice, and finds a piece of paper folded into a long diamond shape there. He unfolds it, and finds a short message in Suga’s handwriting: _preparations complete_.

Nishinoya must make some audible sound, because three heads turn to look at him. One of them belongs to a boy from his class.

“Nishinoya! What’s that?”

Nishinoya dangles it in the air, only showing the blank side, and grins. “Love letter,” he proclaims.

“Really?! Who is it?”

“A secret!” Nishinoya gives the paper a couple dramatic flourishes, then tucks it away in his pocket.

“Are you gonna say yes?”

“Who knows.”

“Look at his face,” says a girl from their year whose name Nishinoya doesn’t know. “Of course he’s going to say yes.”

Nishinoya just grins, and takes off at a run.

 

\--

 

During afternoon practice, Nishinoya watches Asahi as usual. But when he checks to see if Suga is doing the same, they make eye contact. Suga beams at him, the smile of someone who got caught doing something embarrassing but has decided to own it. It hits Nishinoya that Suga was staring at _him._ It’s time to switch out, but he blows a kiss to Suga before jogging to the sidelines.

After practice is over, Suga side-checks Nishinoya and mouths _leave it to me_ before entering the clubroom. Nishinoya doesn’t hear or see anything outside the usual team chatter so he has no idea how Suga does it. But by the time Nishinoya is finished changing, only Suga and Asahi are left in the room with him. It’s like magic.

Asahi is trying to rearrange things to fit more neatly in his bag, so he doesn’t notice it right away. When he accomplishes his task and looks up to see Suga and Nishinoya both looking straight at him, he jumps. Nishinoya sees him automatically assume the defensive position of a frightened prey animal. Suga steps on Nishinoya’s foot and whispers “Don’t scare him,” so he guesses he must have been scowling. He sighs and tries out a smile. He’ll forgive Asahi for being a scaredy-cat this time, if it means he might say yes.

“Got something to say,” Nishinoya says.

Asahi gulps.

Suga gives Nishinoya a gentle look, and takes his hand. Nishinoya nods, and Suga turns his attention back to Asahi. “We,” he specifies, “the two of us have something we’d like to talk to you about.”

Asahi’s eyes go a little distant, searching out the exit. And then they drift to Suga and Nishinoya’s joined hands. “Oh,” he says.

“Oh?” Nishinoya repeats. “Do you already know what this is about?”

Asahi clears his throat, and shuffles to the side for some reason. He’s not even moving in the right direction, if he’s trying to reach the door. “I… have a guess?”

“What guess?” Nishinoya is so fast, so demanding. Suga sighs; this is not exactly how he envisioned this going. Maybe it should have been.

“Um,” Asahi says. “The two of you are… dating?”

“Huh.” Nishinoya looks at Suga, and then back at Asahi. “I mean, not really, not yet. Why would we come here to tell just you in private that we’re dating?”

Asahi gives their intertwined hands a meaningful look, eyebrows slanting up in confusion. “I don’t know.”

Suga is thinking it’s probably time to step in, but Nishinoya puffs his chest out and Suga can’t find it in himself to interrupt him.

“Asahi-san, I like you! Suga-san, you say it too.”

Suga smirks, lopsided and uncertain, but he goes along with it anyway. “I like you, Asahi.”

Asahi is frozen. He might not even be breathing. To Suga, he looks like he’s run out of battery, or malfunctioned and shut down.

“Say something,” Nishinoya suggests, none too gently.

Asahi makes a sound, but it’s too faint and undefined to be a word.

“Look,” Suga says, fumbling for anything he can remember about damage control under pressure. “We’re not asking you to choose between us. Though that is an option, if you want it. So is saying no to both of us.”

Nishinoya slumps. His pout illustrates just how little he cares for that option.

“But,” Suga says, raising his voice enough to call Asahi’s attention back to him, away from the potential source of further anxiety that is Nishinoya’s total lack of a poker face. “We talked about it, and you can accept both of us, too.”

Asahi looks a little faint. His face is losing color. “That’s… haha…” He doesn’t actually laugh, so much as he says it like it’s a word. “That’s enough. You can stop it now, so…”

“You think we’re _joking?_ ” Suga has to step on Nishinoya’s foot again to warn him to tone down the ferocity.

“It’s not like I don’t want to take you seriously,” Asahi says, his voice reaching an unnaturally high pitch. “But I can’t help but feel like this is some trick, and you’re about to laugh at me.”

“Asahi,” Suga says quietly. He bites his lip. It’s probably his fault for pushing jokes too far.

“Asahi-san!” Nishinoya stands up straight and points to Suga with his free hand. “Look at Suga-san’s face and try to tell me you think he’s joking.”

Asahi does as he’s instructed. Suga fidgets, face warming under the sudden scrutiny.

“Oh,” Asahi says.

“Yeah. See?”

Suga feels like his chest might burst. “Nishinoya,” he says, voice low, putting on the most charming smile he can manage. “I left my water bottle in the gym. Would you run and get it for me?”

Nishinoya takes the “run” part very seriously, and takes off like a blur.

Suga collapses on the bench and buries his face in his hands.

“A-are you okay?” Suga can hear Asahi take a tentative step forward.

“Ugh,” Suga groans. “I’m so embarrassed. This is weird, right? If it’s weird you can just blame it on me and forget all about it.”

“It’s… unexpected, but…” Asahi hesitates, and then forces himself to sit down next to Suga. Suga notices the polite distance he leaves between them, and it makes his heart twinge. “I could understand Nishinoya, maybe. But _you,_ Suga?”

Suga draws his hands away from his face to look at Asahi, and is surprised to see, instead of a brow contorted with anxiety, a faraway smile and red cheeks. “What do you mean?”

“Actually, Nishinoya doesn’t make sense either, but I’m used to surprises from him.” Asahi laughs breathlessly, and smooths a hand over his hair. “But you, Suga… you’ve got Daichi, and that handsome first year. Ennoshita?”

Suga nods, even though it’s not quite like what Asahi’s saying. Now isn’t the time to pick at details.

“So why me?”

Suga huffs. “Nishinoya will get mad if you talk like that. You need to have more self-confidence.”

Asahi twitches. “I’m surprised he’s not back already.”

“Another minute or so,” Suga says. “I didn’t forget my water bottle. I’m sure he’s checking everywhere.”

Asahi looks properly distressed now. “You’ll get yelled at, too.”

Suga just laughs, holding a hand over his heart. “He’s amazing, isn’t he?”

Nishinoya bursts in at that moment, jumping the bench to stand in front of Suga and grab his hand again.

“Yeah,” Asahi says.

“Yeah to what?” Nishinoya looks questioningly at both of them, but gets no answer. “Anyway, it’s not there, somebody must’ve taken it by mistake. What were you guys talking about?”

“About how you’re amazing,” Suga says.

Nishinoya makes a choking noise.

“Sugaaaaa,” Asahi complains, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“What? I’m just telling the truth.”

“No way.” Nishinoya grins. “But he didn’t answer yet, right? It’s not fair to answer while I’m gone.”

“He didn’t,” Suga assures him.

“Good.” Nishinoya pulls Suga to his feet, and offers his other hand to Asahi. “Asahi-san, your answer, please?”

Suga lets out a breath, shaky with sentiment, and extends his hand to Asahi, too.

The room goes so quiet that all Asahi can hear is his own breath. When he stands, the creaking of the bench sounds startlingly loud.

There’s a moment where Nishinoya and Suga both look so vulnerable it’s almost devastating, and Asahi realizes they’re both considering that he might just turn and leave.

He doesn’t.

He takes both of their hands, forming a small circle where they stand.

 

\--

 

The first date is at an arcade, where Asahi sticks to the one pixelated shooter he knows how to play, Suga tries everything with so much exuberance that no one would guess how spectacularly he’s failing, and Nishinoya is unnaturally good at each game he touches. He trades a messy handful of tickets to get Asahi a plastic keychain with a tiny working flashlight, and from a crane game extracts a stuffed hedgehog with uneven eyes that Suga accepts with a loud snort, but both Asahi and Nishinoya notice the way he cradles it like it’s a precious treasure.

Nearly two years later, a college teammate comes by Suga’s room to borrow a book, and picks up the hedgehog from his bed while Suga is digging through his desk.

“What’s this?” he asks.

Suga looks up, and an old, familiar warmth spreads through his chest. He isn’t sure how to explain it to someone he hardly knows.

“A guardian,” he decides to say. “A protector who watches over me, and this room.”

Shiroishi looks baffled, but he doesn’t say anything more. He sets the stuffed toy down, and nods like he accepts it.

Once he’s gone, Suga flops on the bed and makes a grab for his phone. His muscle memory is so ingrained that he doesn't even have to think before he's automatically opening the joint conversation with Asahi and Nishinoya.

 _Homesick,_ he types, and hits send.

Nishinoya’s read receipt appears almost instantly, and Asahi’s isn’t far behind. Suga keeps typing.

_Coming home this weekend. Plan something fun._

Two seconds later, the video chat request pops up. Suga sets Nishinoya’s hedgehog in his lap, feeling giddy as the day they first joined hands, and hits accept.


End file.
